Resolving Books

Many Mini Life Changes, bullying Books, Anger management books & Sibling Rivalry Books

31 Mar

The Resolving Book Series in the Irish Times

Posted in Uncategorized on 31.03.10 by Merlyn

There will be an article on these new books in the Irish Times. We will keep you posted.

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31 Mar

Bullying in Churches

Posted in Uncategorized on 31.03.10 by Merlyn

I have written an article recently on bullying in churches. It is maybe a surprise, or shock, to realise that it is as much a problem for churches. people are people where ever they are.

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31 Mar

Brothers and sisters

Posted in Uncategorized on 31.03.10 by Merlyn

Do you think that siblings of the same gender get on better than a boy and a girl? The story in Resolving Sibling Rivalry ( www.resolvingbooks.com)involves a sister and a brother. Through the story they find a better way to sort out their differences. I was thinking that a lot of those differences may come from the fact that they are opposites.

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31 Mar

Posted in Uncategorized on 31.03.10 by Merlyn

When my daughter was 10 she came home from school very upset. That day at school one of her close friends started telling the rest of the class one of my daughter’s secrets. My daughter decided that the only thing she could do was to tell the whole class her secret herself. I asked her why. She said that it was the only way to take the power away from her friend. She recognised that the way her friend was behaving was not the way friends should behave. As she said friends should want the best for you and not play games at your expense.

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31 Mar

Families and anger

Posted in Uncategorized on 31.03.10 by Merlyn

One of the really challenging things about anger is that quite often in families we all get angry in different ways….We can misunderstand each other as a result. For example: my husband, Michael, and I don’t get angry in an explosive way. We are both quite stubborn so if you came into our house when we had had a row it would be very quiet ant tense. My sister and brother-in-law are more fiery, so, if you go into their house when they are having a disagreement it tends to be a lot noisier. Is one better than the other? No, both are just as valid. The important thing is to understand the different ways we all respond. In the book Resolving Anger, the two boys are different. Jack gets angry quickly and Sam is very taciturn. The challenge for them as friends is to understand what the other person is feeling and to respond effectively.

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30 Mar

Apologising after being angry

Posted in Uncategorized on 30.03.10 by Merlyn

I think it is hard to teach children about apology. It is easy just to tell them to do it but then what happens?….A half hearted mumble….
Apology can only happen when the person freely gives it after understanding the hurt he/she has caused and can only be accepted freely as well. I believe there has to be restoration in apology. For example: If one of my kids physically hurt the other I would ask the offender to look after the other. Fetch a glass of water, or sticking plaster. Sit with them until they stopped crying. This meant they had to stay with the consequences of their actions and put it right. That is what lies at the heart of apology.

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30 Mar

My son and his anger

Posted in Uncategorized on 30.03.10 by Merlyn

My son Ben is a great boy but he can get angry! He is now 11 years old. When he was younger, about 2, he would lose his temper in a big way and then hide. He seemed to get very upset and shaken about how out of control he got. I found that the best thing to do was to stay calm and help him calm down first. When he was calm I would talk to him about what he had done and try and help him learn that anger was a BIG emotion that he would have to learn to control, which he would do over time. I used a lot of the ideas in the Resolving Anger Book so that is how I know that they work.

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30 Mar

The dreadful effects of bullying

Posted in Uncategorized on 30.03.10 by Merlyn

I was listening to the dreadful news of a girl called Phoebe who has committed suicide, following bullying by a number of her classmates.  9 of her classmates have been charged with various offenses regarding Phoebe.It is hard to believe that people can drive another young person to such a traumatic action. Phoebe was young and had her whole life ahead of her.

The dreadful reality of bullying is that the  humiliation and shame felt by the victim can literally destroy them. We cannot function as human beings unless we have some sense that we have value. Bullying, through all its various forms, destroys our ability to see ourselves as worthwhile human beings. This is why it is so pernicious.

We cannot stand by and watch this happen to other people. Phoebe had classmates. Others must have seen. We need to wake up to the painful reality that we cannot be innocent bystanders when someone else is is trouble. We are complicit.

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30 Mar

Anger Book

Posted in Uncategorized on 30.03.10 by Merlyn

The downloads on the resolving book website will be updated regularly so that there will be more downloads on Anger, Sibling Rivalry and Bullying. These subjects are so important that we want the website to be as useful and up to date as possible.

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30 Mar

Posted in Uncategorized on 30.03.10 by Merlyn

Parents often say to me “this is all very well but I don’t have the time!” Well……..have you ever counted up how much time and effort you take up sorting out the rows between your kids only to do it all again the next day? What if there was a way to spend your time wisely so that the next time the kids rowed they didn’t need your help? The is what the Sibling Rivalry is promoting. We parents have to spend time on our childrens’ rows so why not make it worth all our while?

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