Resolving Books

Many Mini Life Changes, bullying Books, Anger management books & Sibling Rivalry Books

28 Jun

A saying on anxiety

Posted in Uncategorized on 28.06.10 by Merlyn

I came across this saying, which is a great description of what it feels like to suffer from high anxiety:

“You seize upon an irrational thought and interpret it in a catastrophic way. ”

A very good description.

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28 Jun

The way we see the world

Posted in Uncategorized on 28.06.10 by Merlyn

How do you see the world?

Do you say “The world is the way I see it” or do you say “I am part of a bigger world and there are other views other than mine.”

The first of these phrases is called naive realism and leads to trouble and strife and we try and convince others that we are right.

The second can feel overwhelming but is a more realistic view of life. It allows for flexible thinking and an ability to learn from others.

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28 Jun

Street Mediators – more

Posted in Uncategorized on 28.06.10 by Merlyn

The Street Mediation Project in Oslo will see 400 youths complete their training in 2010. The change happens over time through creative reflection, education and mastering new skills. The project provides an arena for change and reconciliation.

190 volunteers and professional adults are trained and certified as street mediation instructors. This includes a number of police officers.

50 young people are trained and certified street mediation instructors and there are 16 SREET MEDIATION UNITS established in Oslo.

So, why is it possible to change fighting gangs into street peacekeepers?

Thomas, who presented the workshop on Street Mediators, talked about the group of kids he met when he first was introduced to the gangs. He said he saw frightened kids not sure what life expected of them looking for something. He talked about how they started working with the young people and asking about what their experience of conflict. They then started introducing the idea that it is possible to have a choice when we are in conflict.

These young people are experts in conflict but not experts in how to solve conflict in a constructive way. The workshops empower the youths to understand their own conflict and how to resolve them themselves, through four phases. The critical factor is giving time in the workshops to support the young people to understand conflict and the choices they have.

The whole project costs a fraction of the cost of policing the trouble caused by fighting gangs. It is an enlightened way to deal with a very hard problem.

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28 Jun

Street Mediators

Posted in Uncategorized on 28.06.10 by Merlyn

One of the most interesting workshops in Paris was on a project in Oslo, Sweden. This project, funded by the Red Cross, trains young people to be mediators. One example they gave was of a time when they were asked to work with a couple of gangs who had been fighting. There had been serious knife crime and the police had been involved in trying to stop the gang fights.

The trainers started working with the gang members and over the following year they trained them to be mediators AND to train other gang members.  It just shows you what is possible when we educate instead of give up on young people.

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01 Jun

Conflict in Schools

Posted in Uncategorized on 01.06.10 by Merlyn

Conflict in Schools is recognised as a big problem. There are many interesting projects around the world that look to solve this problem.

The first workshop I attended at the conference was given by the School Mediation Project in Finland. This is a national project which trains school kids to be mediators. Here are some of the kids comments:

‘”In Peer Mediation, you will notice that yelling is NOT any solution.”

“I have learned to deal with quarrels, and I use these skills also in daily life!”

“We can’t always call upon somebody else to solve our own conflicts – we want to do it ourselves!”

this is a great project that really makes a difference in schools. It has a 94% success rate! We don’t have to complain about our young people. we just need to give them the skills to do it themselves and they may teach us a thing or two!

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01 Jun

Optimism from a Paris Conference

Posted in Uncategorized on 01.06.10 by Merlyn

I have just come back from the European Mediation Bi-annual Conference. There were people there from 27 countries all making a positive difference in their own communities. It is great to think that there are so many people working quietly away as peacemakers in the world.

So, what is mediation? It is a conflict resolution process that people use when they are fighting or disagreeing with each other.  It is used for neighbours who have fallen out or couples who a re separating. It is also used in schools and between workplace employees and it is even used in a lot of countries as part of the Court Services.

A mediator is someone who is trained to help others resolve their fights peacefully. They are prepared to work with people who are angry, upset and generally in difficulty. They help them come to terms with how they feel about themselves and the other person in a way that will prepare the ground for agreeing a new way forward. Mediators need to be highly trained to resolve conflicts. They are skilled communicators and negotiators with a belief that talking is always better than fighting.

Many of the big international disputes have been resolved because mediators have worked with the parties for years prior to the final settlement, however, most every day disputes do not take that long.

I thought I would spend the next few days talking about it all as there was so much there.

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