It is important to remember that when someone is being bullied they feel increasingly isolated. The first thing that we need to do is to listen to how they feel and support them. We might have views about what should be done but the most important thing we can do is to stop the person feeling alone.
Our children are very lucky that we are not perfect. Imagine what it would be like for them when they finally left home! They would go out into the world and expect everyone to understand them and to behave impeccably towards them. Instead they get the chance to live in a real family with parents who love them but make mistakes too. They get the chance to make mistakes with others that do the same, they learn how to listen to others (despite their own views), negotiate differences and most important of all…………..to apologise and to forgive. Being imperfect is one of the best things we do for our kids.
Things are now calm. My son has cooled down and is listening to my daughter playing Schindler’s list on the violin. The adrenalin has subsided.
Its safe for me to leave the computer room now!
We are now entering an election campaign and our doorsteps are going to be festooned with politicians wanting our vote. So, what are our election issues? I will be talking to them about the welfare of our children and the referendum we are supposed to have on Children’s Rights. We also need to speak up for special needs education and care. Our children seem to come at the bottom of the list too often when it comes to resources and services. We have to be their voice.
I was doing a workshop with teachers yesterday. They were all Year Heads in a secondary school. We talked about how they can sometimes find themselves in the middle of family conflict. When things are bad at home kids can feel unsettled at school. One of the main problems then is that there are not enough services to help children quickly and the teachers are left trying to cope with situations that they are not trained for. Teachers are doing their best but more needs to be done to provide support for families in our communities.
As I write this, I am listening to my 12 year old son, in a fit of temper, slamming his hands down on the piano shouting that he is never thanked for any of the work he does. My husband, who is supposed to be overseeing the practice, is standing outside the room suggesting I might throw one of the books I have written in to the room and wait and see what happens……..
Happy New Year. Our new book is now published and hitting the shops. It is called Resolving Bereavement and is for anybody helping children coping with loss. We are delighted that Fergus Findlay, CEO of Barnardos Ireland, has endorsed the series with a comment on the back. We helps it helps many children.
At last Christmas is here and for the first time in many years we have a white Christmas here in Ireland. It is very beautiful, if rather hard to travel around. Merry Christmas.
Our website now allows you to buy the S.A.L.T. Programme, which is for schools. I developed this programme in 2004 and it is becoming increasingly more popular with schools in Ireland and the UK. There is teacher training on the programme available through Drumcondra Education Centre.
Our local school has just trained its first set of Peer Mediators. These mediators are 12 years old and will mediate arguments between kids in the school. There are many schools who are now doing this and they find that it is really helpful to all of the children involved.
My son was one of this new group and he says that it has helped him understand about ” all this friendship thing is about”. The teacher involved also says that his class have learned so much and are find it easier to sort out their own disputes.